Mania Madness – Round Of 16: Paul Bearer Region

Ab Stanley

Welcome to Mania Madness! We’re taking the concepts of March Madness and Wrestlemania (the two best things about March, apologies to the Irish), and mashing them together. What we have here is the ultimate Pro-Wrestling fantasy matchup. Our writers have argued, debated and voted over the 64 best to ever step into the squared circle. We then seeded them based on a variety of factors, to give you the wrestling tournament we all deserve.

We begin here witht the round of 64. More rounds will be released in the coming weeks. But all roads lead to the title.

Editor’s note: A few names were left out of the pool of 64 due to incidents that occurred outside of wrestling. We have chosen not to acknowledge those individuals, nor will we name them here. Just know that if you think we missed someone obvious, it’s more likely we made a conscious decision to omit them.


#1. The Undertaker vs. #16. Sgt.Slaughter
Sgt. Slaughter’s roughhouse, power style proved no match for the phenom. Undertaker would take an initial rush from Slaughter, but quickly turned the match around. A chokeslam from Taker would end this match up of big men.

Winner: The Undertaker
Match Time: 9:35


#8. Jake the Snake Roberts vs. #9. Kane
(No Disqualification Match)
A match up with all the makings of a main event match was pretty uneventful. Jake Roberts would not back down from Kane and even pulled off a DDT on the Big Red Machine. Roberts thought he had the victory, when out of nowhere the Honky Tonk Man appeared and smashed him with his guitar.

Kane would pick Roberts up and give him a chokeslam for good measure. Kane would then add a chokeslam for the Honky Tonk Man as well.

Winner: Kane 
Match Time:10:23


#5. Randy Orton vs. #12. Seth Rollins
Rollins would have the upper hand early, landing a falcon arrow about two minutes in. Rollins would attempt a series of pins to no avail and a bit of frustration starts to set in. Orton, who looked all but done, connected on a snap power slam and then his vintage DDT off the ropes.

It was then Orton’s turn for his series of attempted pin falls to no avail. The two competitors somehow reach outside the ring where a fierce back and forth ensues. Orton would toss Rollins off of the steel steps, seemingly grabbing the upper hand.

After tossing Rollins back in the ring, Orton sets up for the RKO. Rollins would reverse it and subsequently sets Orton up for the Pedigree. After a successful Pedigree, Rollins catches Orton for the Stomp and puts his lights out.

Winner: Seth Rollins
Match Time: 25:37


#4. Mankind vs. #13. John Moxley
(Hardcore Match)
To call this a back and forth match would be an understatement. Mankind uses every thing he can find under the ring and attacks Moxley with a ferocious flurry of hits. Moxley get a hold of a sledgehammer and starts giving mankind a couple hits to the face. With almost no energy left, a bloody mankind delivers a slam through a table already set up outside the ring.

Winner: Mankind
Match Time:18:52


#6. Ultimate Warrior vs. #11 Diamond Dallas Page
Nothing much to see here early with Warrior easily handling DDP. Page would get some help from Papa Shango, who body slammed the Warrior on the outside of the ring. Warrior gave chase, leading to a count-out, giving Diamond Dallas Page the improbable victory.

Winner: Diamond Dallas Page (Warrior Disqualified)
Match Time: 6:35


#3. Andre the Giant vs. #14. Jeff Hardy
Jeff Hardy thought he could out-quick the massive 500 pound Andre, but that plan quickly failed. A few heavy handed chops, a few power slams, and one big leg drop ended Jeff Hardy’s bid to advance.

Winner: Andre the Giant
Match Time: 5:45


#7. Booker T vs. #10. Vader
Vader quickly took control of the match, giving Booker an early belly-to-belly suplex, sending him out of the ring. After a failed Vader-bomb, Booker T quickly took control with help from Queen Sharmell, who handed the former champion a pair of brass knuckles. A scissor kick finished big Vader off (Booker added a spinarooni for fun).

Winner: Booker T
Match Time: 7:43


#2. Shawn Michaels vs. #15. The British Bulldog
HBK and Davey Boy enter the match going right after each other. The Bulldog’s strength is prevailing early on, bludgeoning Michaels with a flurry of clotheslines and body slams. HBK seems to be out of steam, when a high risk maneuver from Bulldog misses terribly. One superkick from Michaels right to the kisser of Davey Boy and that’s all she wrote.

Winner: Shawn Michaels
Match Time: 20:23

Ab Stanley

Atlanta, GA

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