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Welcome to Mania Madness! We’re taking the concepts of March Madness and Wrestlemania (the two best things about March, apologies to the Irish), and mashing them together. What we have here is the ultimate Pro-Wrestling fantasy matchup. Our writers have argued, debated and voted over the 64 best to ever step into the squared circle. We then seeded them based on a variety of factors, to give you the wrestling tournament we all deserve.
We begin here witht the round of 64. More rounds will be released in the coming weeks. But all roads lead to the title.
Editor’s note: A few names were left out of the pool of 64 due to incidents that occurred outside of wrestling. We have chosen not to acknowledge those individuals, nor will we name them here. Just know that if you think we missed someone obvious, it’s more likely we made a conscious decision to omit them.
#1. Ric Flair vs. #16. Dean Malenko
Malenko and Flair lock up in the middle of the ring, eventually leading to a back body drop by Flair. Despite a short flurry offense by Flair, Malenko lands a reversal quickly takes advantage with a string of submissions, targeting various limbs. As Flair breaks out of one the holds though, the referee notices a pair of brass knuckles and goes to get it out of the ring. While his back is turned, Flair hits a low blow on Malenko and locks in a figure four leg lock, leading to the submission.
Winner: Ric Flair
Match Time: 8:45
#8. Arn Anderson vs. #9. Daniel Bryan
Every time Anderson goes for some kind of power move, Bryan counters it. Likewise, each submission Bryan locks in, Anderson powers out of it. As Anderson prepares to hit the spinebuster, Bryan gets loose and tries to lock in the LaBell Lock. He can’t get it locked in though, and takes all the power to his back, giving Anderson the win.
Winner: Arn Anderson
Match Time: 8:45
#5. Chris Jericho vs. #12. Ron Simmons
Simmons displays a lot of power, just absolutely punishing Jericho. However, after going for one too many flying shoulder blocks, Jericho lands a codebreaker and a lionsault. He finishes Simmons off with the Walls of Jericho.
Winner: Chris Jericho
Match Time: 10:00
#4. Kurt Angle vs. #13. Terry Funk
Angle oohs and ahhs with his technical prowess and Olympic style moves. Funk starts battling back with a flurry of fists. Funk leans under the ring for a weapon, but gets caught by Angle in the Angle Lock. Struggling, Funk somehow finds a way out and trips up the Olympic Hero. Funk, uses the ropes to get up, and locks in his Spinning Toe Hold, somehow getting Angle to tap.
Winner: Terry Funk
Match Time: 15:12
#6. Bruno Sammartino vs. #11. Scott Steiner
Steiner displays full power and technical prowess and appears to have Sammartino on the ropes. However, he starts showboating, allowing the Italian Strongman the opening he needs to start his comeback. A strong punch catches Steiner off guard and Sammartino locks in the Bear Hug for the submission.
Winner: Bruno Sammartino
Match Time: 12:34
#3. Sting vs. #14. Pat Patterson
Patterson tries using a variety of dirty moves, but is thwarted each time by Sting. As Patterson goes for an Irish whip, “The Icon” counters it, and send him into the corner. Two stinger splashes and a Scorpion Death Drop leads to a win for Sting.
Match Time: 3:00
#7. Rey Mysterio vs. #10. CM Punk
Both combatants try to outmaneuver each other, using their brands of quickness. Mysterio hits a 619, but in the corresponding splash, is caught and hit with a Go To Sleep. Punk gets the upset victory.
Winner: CM Punk
Match Time: 14:36
#2. The Rock vs. #15. Ricky The Dragon Steamboat
Steamboat tries to use his speed and technical prowess to wear down The Rock. However, after a sudden counter, Rock hits a Rock Bottom and then the People’s Elbow for good measure.
Winner: The Rock
Match Time: 3:15