Mania Madness – Mae Young Region Semifinals

Eric Urbanowicz
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We’re onto round three of Mania Madness. We’re down to the Sweet 16 overall and in the Mae Young Region there are sure to be fireworks, with two of the best to ever do it both in the ring and on the mic squaring off, followed by a showdown of two iconic outsiders.


#1. Ric Flair vs. #5. Chris Jericho
*I Quit Match*

Ric Flair and Chris Jericho meet in the middle of the ring, smack talking each other, Jericho about being “The Best In The World At What He Does,” and Flair about his money, cars, and women, before pointing at his wrist, and chopping Jericho in the chest. Jericho, in shock, goes for a double leg takedown, and gets Flair in a headlock. He calls for the microphone early to ask if Flair quits, who responds by spitting in his face, angering Jericho to the point that he squeezes harder.

After a while, Flair gets out of the hold. Flair rolls out of the ring and grabs a bottle of water from underneath the ring. Jericho, seeing this, walks over and tries to keep on Flair, only for Flair to pull out a fire extinguisher and hit him in the head. Flair finishes the bottle, pours some on his chest and poses for a couple pictures, before spraying Jericho with extinguisher. He goes to the time keepers area and grabs the ring bell, placing it near Jericho’s ear and ringing it.

Flair then looks under the ring for more toys, only to get caught and placed in the Walls of Jericho. Flair, trying to break out grabs a broom, and starts poking Jericho in the back of the head until he lets go. Finally, after about five pokes, Jericho lets go and dropkicks Flair below the belt. With both men under the ring now, Jericho finds a battery and attaches the two prongs to Flair’s chest. With his foot on Flair’s chest, Jericho asks Flair if he quits, Flair responds, “no!” before rolling out from underneath Jericho.

Flair runs through the crowd to skybox, where Jericho meets him, only to find out it’s a trap. Tully Blanchard, Ole Anderson and Arn Anderson are waiting for him as well. The Four Horsemen chase Jericho to the VIP Concourse, where Sammy Guevara, Jake Hager, Santana and Ortiz are waiting. The Inner Circle and Four Horseman stop, stare each down, and everyone goes after each other. Food is thrown, bottles at the bar are smashed against each other, Anderson tries to stab Guevara with the scissors, similar to what he did to Psycho Sid. Through the madness, Flair and Jericho escape.

As the two battle back through the audience, Flair rakes Jericho’s eyes before putting a sleeper hold on him. As Jericho starts to fade, Flair guides Jericho over to a different sky box and leans him over the edge, and applies a figure four leg lock. He screams to the referee to go ask him if he quits.

Jericho, coming to, realizes he’s being dangled over the audience from the skybox in a figure four leg lock, with the referee holding a microphone duct taped to a mic stand asking if he quits. Frantically, he tries to get out, only to scream out that he quits! Just as he says I quit, the Inner Circle arrive to try and catch him, only to hear that he quit already. Flair loosens the hold, and helps Jericho up, and helps him get to the couch in the skybox as a show of good sportsmanship. Jericho extends his hand, only to take an elbow below the belt for the car battery thing.

Winner: Ric Flair
Time: 25:00


#3. Sting vs. #10. CM Punk
*Buried Alive Match*

Before Sting makes his entrance, CM Punk walks out of the tunnel with a microphone in his hand. He sits crossed leg in the middle of ring and gets ready to speak. “Yeah, I bet Paul {Levesque} will love this, the one guy he couldn’t keep down, finally has a chance to be buried. I’m fine with that, do you want to know why? Because I’m not getting buried! I’ve fought addicts and their underachieving brothers, someone who parades around like he’s “The Pope,” three man children who started their company just so they could all be champions of it with some loser who wants to be a cowboy, and a mooch who acts like my best friend, when he’s not. Do you really think I’m afraid of some jerk dressed like a rejected member of KISS?”

Just then, Sting descends from the rafters and looks over to Punk, pressing his bat to his chest. “Huh, I liked you better as Heath Ledger’s Joker rather than Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn,” quips Punk. Sting swings and misses, leading Punk to kick the bat out of his hand. Punk then starts with a flurry of elbows and kicks, one of which stuns Sting. Punk then hits the ropes and hits a Bulldog. Sting rolls out of the ring onto a conveniently placed gurney, where Punk straps him in. Before he wheels him up the stage, Punk grabs a microphone.

“Hey Sting, you haven’t learned a thing, have you?” says Punk. “I’ve watched as time and time again, you’ve done nothing but trust people who love to stab you in the back. That’s why I don’t trust anyone, not some young trust fund baby with a Burberry scarf, not some steroid induced man child who cries on Twitter about not getting his fair share, not even some fat piece of garbage who thinks he’s hardcore when literally he’s not the best Eddie or Kingston I’ve worked with.”

As he gets to the top of the ramp, Punk kicks over the gurney with Sting still strapped in. Punk grabs the shovel and starts putting dirt on sting. “Sorry Sting, not even your little gothic Robin can help you now,” says Punk, “now I’ll be more than happy to bury you, the way that everyone claims I did when I came to AEW.”

Out of nowhere, Darby Allin attacks Punk from behind. Punk fights back and throws Allin into the hole. “You want to be like The Crow down there Darbs? Fine by me,” yells Punk. Suddenly, more folks from the back including Ryback, MJF, Eddie Kingston, Matt and Jeff Hardy, Colt Cabana, and many others run in and swarm Punk, laying a beatdown on him and incapacitating him. Allin snaps out of his daze, and unstraps Sting. The two get up and look on at what’s going on.

The horde grabs Punk and lifts him up and drops him in the hole, before all together burying Punk under a couple sheets of dirt, making Sting the winner. As they walk to the back, a hand pops out of the dirt and it looks like he starts trying to climb out as the screen fades to black.

Winner: Sting
Time: 16:37

Eric Urbanowicz


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