NFL Power Rankings Week 5 – The Unidentifiable Position

Ab Stanley

Now that four weeks are done, I’d usually come on here talking about how a quarter of the season is done. With an extra game this year that’s not really true, but we’ve played a good enough chunk of the season to get our fair share of misdiagnosis.

Teams can’t be considered buried, not just yet. What we can do is start to put them into a categories like contenders, pretenders…and please just end our misery.


1. Arizona Cardinals (4-0)

The last remaining undefeated team in the NFL, the Cardinals have crossed over the 30 point mark in all their games this season.


2. Buffalo Bills (3-1)

The big bad Bills have allowed a total of 21 points in their last three contests. They are allowing an average of 11.0 points per game (1st in the NFL).


3. Los Angeles Chargers (3-1)

Justin Herbert might pull off winning an MVP the year after winning Offensive Rookie of the Year. He’s clearly an elite passer on the NFL level.


4. Green Bay Packers (3-1)

The Packers have forced six turnovers in their last three games. The team has given the ball away only once over that same span.


5. Los Angeles Rams (3-1)

The Rams took one right in the kisser Sunday. Their vaunted 2020 defense has struggled this season, allowing 99 total points in four games.


6. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-1)

When the Buccaneers offense isn’t going great, they just get Ryan Succop to nail four field goals, including the game winner. Give Tom Brady the participation trophy win for this one.


7. Baltimore Ravens (3-1)

After allowing 68 points in the first two weeks, the Ravens’ defense has allowed 24 points in their last two games. They play host to the Colts and their 21st ranked scoring offense this week.


8. Dallas Cowboys (3-1)

Dak Prescott has thrown his name into the MVP race. He has thrown for 1,066 yards and 10 touchdowns. He’s completing over 75% of his passes and has only two interceptions so far this season.


9. Cleveland Browns (3-1)

The Browns are winning with defense. They’ve allowed a total of 13 points in their last two games.


10. Las Vegas Raiders (3-1)

Las Vegas has given up a total of 56 points in their last two games. They rank 19th in both points and total yards allowed.


11. Cincinnati Bengals (3-1)

When looking at the AFC North before the season started, you put Cincinnati as the odd team out. Welp, we all made a mistake it seems because they are currently in first place.


12. Kansas City Chiefs (2-2)

The Chiefs won, but they gave up another 30 points to the Eagles. The only team not to score 30 versus Kansas City was the Browns in week one, who only managed to score 29 points.


13. Carolina Panthers (3-1)

This was the first game of the season where Carolina had multiple turnovers. Not a big mystery why they lost the game.


14. Denver Broncos (3-1)

Denver took their first loss of the season against the first team they faced with a winning record. The loss of Teddy Bridgewater to a concussion could have a lingering effect on the Broncos’ season.


15. San Francisco 49ers (2-2)

Jimmy Garoppolo gets hurt, Trey Lance comes in and throws two touchdown passes, problem solved. Well, maybe not the solution to every problem San Francisco faces.


16. Tennessee Titans (2-2)

The Titans are allowing an average of 266.7 passing yards per game. They’ve allowed eight passing touchdowns while only forcing two interceptions.


17. Chicago Bears (2-2)

The Bears got a much better effort from Justin Fields and the offense on Sunday. The loss of David Montgomery could hurt their chances of having a consistent offense.


18. New Orleans Saints (2-2)

The Saints could probably use Michael Thomas right about now. They rank 17th in points scored and 28th in total yards.


19. Seattle Seahawks (2-2)

The Seahawks have given up the most yards in the NFL (1, 778). The team has outscored their opponents by a grand total of three points this season.


20. Washington Football Team (2-2)

Washington has scored over 30 points two times this season and claimed victory in both outings. The defense continues to struggle.


21. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-3)

The Steelers have scored a total of six touchdowns on offense. They have scored a total of 67 points all season.


22. New England Patriots (1-3)

In this whole teacher versus student, Bill Belichick versus Tom Brady, good versus evil hoopla, we missed out on a huge fact. Belichick really beat Brady with Brady’s replacement, but it’s a team loss you can’t blame it on a kicker and a goal post.


23. Miami Dolphins (1-3)

Imagine being in an action movie and you walk into an arsenal full of weapons. After going over your inventory, you realize you have almost no ammo. That is how the Dolphins offense look: three AK’s and a pistol with no ammo.


24. Indianapolis Colts (1-3)

The Colts’ defense has forced a total of eight turnovers in four games. That amount has trumped the amount of touchdowns they’ve scored on offense (seven).


25. Philadelphia Eagles (1-3)

The Eagles’ point differential on the season is -12, with their opponents scoring a total of 106 points. It’s surprising because the eagles are ranked eighth in total yards gained (1,590), but can’t seem to generate more points.


26. Atlanta Falcons (1-3)

The Falcons might have a poor record and a struggling defense, but good news is on the way. They play the Jets, go on a bye week, and then play the Dolphins. Well, you definitely can’t lose during the bye week.


27. Minnesota Vikings (1-3)

The Vikings’ losses have come in some very close games. They have a +2 point differential on the season.


28. New York Giants (1-3)

Saquon Barkley ripped off 126 yards from scrimmage with two touchdowns. Daniel Jones passes for 402 yards and two touchdowns. This is the offense every Giants’ fan prayed for over these last few years.


29. New York Jets (1-3)

Zach Wilson had his best passing day of the season, with 297 yards and two touchdowns. Their next two opponents have a combined 2-6 record.


30. Houston Texans (1-3)

Boy, the Texans looked great in week one when they scored 37 in a victory. In the three games since, they’ve scored a total of 32 points with three defeats.


31. Detroit Lions (0-4)

The Lions haven’t reached the 20 point mark in any game since they scored 33 in week one. They are currently ranked 24th in scoring.


32. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-4)

I could insert the obvious Urban Meyer joke here and move on. He’s doing fine making a joke out of himself as an NFL head coach.

Ab Stanley

Atlanta, GA

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